EingeNel In Action

There is something I came to realize in the first anniversary of my stay here in Malaysia. It’s that there are three things that Filipinos and Malaysians have in common.

I realized the first thing we had in common while I was crossing the street on my way home. A car drove past by me so fast that it made my head spin. I was an inch away from getting hit by that car. After that, the driver shouted something in Malay which I assumed was, something like “Wanna die?” It was déjà vu for me. I have been in that same scenario in the Philippines for countless times. Except for that driver shouting the Filipino words for “Wanna die?” Of course, I might be at fault as well for not being careful when crossing the street but I still blame the drivers. That’s the first thing we have in common – Drivers. Sure, there are a few exceptions to the rule. But I tell you, put Filipino drivers in Malaysian roads and they will survive. Our drivers are the kings of the road. In fact, they say that if you can drive in the Philippines
along with our Filipino Drivers then you can drive anywhere in the world. I seem to find Malaysian drivers the same way. They speed up when the traffic light turns yellow and speed faster when it turns red. 

The second thing I found similar between Filipinos and Malaysians is the love for eating. No, I am not saying we like similar foods because I’m sure we don’t. Our curry is yellow while yours is bright orange. You would probably faint if you try to eat balut while we would devour it with our heart’s content. What I am saying is that we are similar when it comes to our love for eating. We have the same breaks in our government office, am I right? You have breakfast, tea break, lunch, another tea break , which we call Merienda in the Philippines, and dinner. And of course you just have to end with a midnight snack. In Malaysia, you see stalls selling kacangs and ice limau. In the Philippines, we have similar stores which we call Sari-Sari Store or in direct English translation, means Store Selling Everything Under The Sun. In my cubicle here in Scope, I have my own food jars containing assorted nuts that I can nibble in front of my computer. My neighboring officemates have moon cakes, Penang biscuits and all sorts of food on the table. You would actually know when someone came back from the Philippines, our designated food corner is full of goodies and tidbits from back home.

The third thing I find similar between Filipinos and Malaysians is their obsession for soap operas. I actually felt proud to hear that Pangako Sa’yo and Kay Tagal are quite popular here in Malaysia, and that Jericho Rosales was even invited for some show here. Honestly, I haven’t watched any of these two shows for two reasons: one—it’s just too long and two, it’s really unrealistic. But I’ve seen an episode or two since our housemaid was a die-hard fan. I couldn’t ask her to do anything for an hour everyday because of this Pangako Sayo. She was in cahoots with my grandmother who was a Kristine-Jericho love team fan as well. When watching such soap operas, you must be ready to throw away all practicality and even reality as well. Where can you see a housemaid whose hands are so soft and skin so fair that eventually the boss’ son will fall in love with her? Where can you see someone die and come back with the same face but a different character? I thought that could only be in Philippine TV… but no, someone told me it happens in Malaysian soap operas as well. No wonder, Philippine soaps are so popular here. They’re even making a movie now where the actor is Filipino and the female lead is a popular Malaysian model. That’s actually good news for everybody since it’s an affirmation of my general observation that we Filipinos and Malaysians are alike.

These are just three things on top of my head but I’m sure we have more things in common than we really know, or dare to find out. That gives me a feeling of pleasure and comfort as a foreigner. Pleasure, since it would be easier to make friend with people whom you have more in common with than those who you have nothing in common at all. Comfort, since, with this realization, I don’t feel I’m such an outsider anymore. Who knows? We might just end up combining Filipinos and Malaysians and call them as Filipilaysians in the end?

Did you know that you could foretell a person’s character just by looking at his or her signature?

Tonight, I would like to teach you some basic techniques in reading signatures. But first, let me tell you how I acquired this skill.

Back in my hometown in the Philippines, people believed in superstition. They believe in witchcraft and sorcery. They even thought of my ancestors as witches who could change the fate of people with a single spell. They told me about this when I was little and I believed it. When kids my age then, played “House”, I played with cards, concocted potions and pretended to cast spells on evil people. There was a time that one of my rivals fell ill and I felt guilty, thinking I had caused her sickness. I grew up thinking I was gifted and I continued to study witchcraft. One day, I opened my mom’s cupboard and saw a doll with pins all over its body. The doll has a familiar name on it, and I realized it was one of those people who have hurt my mother badly. I also saw a pack of tarot cards, which they say can predict the future. My belief that we were a family of witches was strengthened. I was scared to tell my friends then, thinking they would treat me as an outcast. I was twelve when I shared this secret to my best friend, and guess what she did, she joined me in creating potions and spells! We believed we were witches and we had the power to change things. We created a spell to make our school grades higher and created potions for our “bad classmates”. But nothing worked. It was then I realized how foolish I was to believe I was a witch. Out of the witch-like things I did, there were two things that were always accurate — one was when I predict someone’s future through cards and another, when I tell a person’s character through his signature.

When I was in Form school, I practiced these two skills, or gifts, as some may say, on my classmates, teachers and anybody who want to know their future, even just for fun. I never did take it seriously anyway since I knew all the stories of my family being witches are all just figment of our neighbors’ wild imagination.

What bothered me most was that most of the things I say when reading signatures are quite true. It was then I did some research and found that there was a branch of Science dealing with it— which was called Graphology or the Study of Handwriting. It is even a three-year course offered in some Academies. In graphology, you need to study a paragraph or more handwritten by the person you wish to analyze. For now, let us focus on signatures.

I’d like to share with you this gift. Now, I need a volunteer who is brave enough to write down his signature in the whiteboard for us to interpret. (someone goes to the board to sign… If You’d like me to interpret your signature.. send me a scanned copy)

There are three basic aspects to look at when interpreting signatures. First is the direction or the slant. There are three main slants or writing angles:

(a) Right-slant
(b) Upright
(c) Left-slant

The right slant symbolises extroversion and progression, an outward movement towards world and life. The upright script symbolises distance and self-sufficiency as far as world and life are concerned.
The left slant symbolizes introversion and regression, an inward movement towards the ego, away from world and life.

Second, is the size of the script. Of course, this is relative. Our signatures adjust to the space provided so we analyze based on the space allotted as well. The size of a script symbolises fundamentally the writers assessment of himself. It is evaluated from the size of the small letters: 1/8 inch or 3 mm is the normal size. A large script can be interpreted positively as superiority, seriousness, pride, generosity. Negatively it can be interpreted as arrogance, conceit, pomp and boastfulness. A small script can be interpreted positively as devotion, respectfulness, humility, tolerance. Negatively it could mean feelings of inferiority, faint-heartedness, lack of confidence, fear, etc.

Third, is the Style. There are several types of styles – Decorative, Illegible, Distinguished, Abbreviated and a lot more.

So now you ask me, what good is knowing how to interpret signatures? Well, with this knowledge, you can already determine whether a person’s personality is compatible with yours. Companies even hire graphologists to be part of their HR staff to be able to discern if the applicant matches the company. For us, it’s as simple as having a clue of how to deal with people. If you analyze a person is timid, then you don’t directly ask him to speak in front of people he doesn’t know. You will use another way to get what you want. Or if you analyze a person to be proud, you’d know better than to step on his toes or else you’re in trouble.

Now that you know, I hope you use it as a positive tool to help you in dealing with different kinds of people. But be careful as well when using this technique. You might just make the mistake of presumption. Let this just serve as a guide to you but don’t let it rule your life.

Good Night! Happy Signature Reading!

Tonight, I would like to share with you my first tragic experience here in Malaysia. But first, let me tell you briefly on why I’m here in your country.

It was in July last year when my husband got an offer to work here. We were newlyweds then and we weren’t really thinking of leaving the Philippines. I was already a Project Manager in one of the top banks in my country while my husband was to be promoted as well. When he got that offer, we had to think very hard. It was even harder for me because it meant giving up my career. But then, I would rather be a housewife than be separated from my husband. And so we resigned from work and started our journey to a good life here in Malaysia.

It was Merdeka time when we arrived. We spent the first few days shopping and sightseeing. We also made friends with some of the Filipinos in our place and they even invited my husband to play basketball. He was excited since it was his favorite sport and he was good at it. I was also happy for him and I even bought him new shorts, shirt and rubber shoes to mark his first basketball game in a foreign country.  The day came and he woke up before six in the morning to make sure he wouldn’t be late. You would think it was a competition when it was really just a friendly basketball game. They went to YMCA Bangsar to meet with other Filipino players. That day, I couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to do the laundry. An hour later, a neighbor came knocking on our door and told me that my husband was being rushed by to the hospital in an ambulance. I quickly showered, grabbed my purse and asked a friend to go with me to the hospital. It was my first time in the emergency room and I didn’t like what I saw or smelled. As I saw him lying there, my heart leaped and my soul cried out with sympathy. I saw bloodstains on the wrap covering his right leg. The breaking of the two leg bones was so fierce that it punctured the skin. It was fortunate that the bones didn’t stick out. As I learned the story on how it happened, I wanted to hunt down the guy who was responsible for this. Apparently, my husband was about to make a jump shot when some guy jumped and kicked him while on the air. He never even said sorry or helped in bringing my husband to the hospital. I wanted to find him and ask him how he could sleep at night. But there were more important things that I had to do so I dismissed these thoughts and focused on the matter at hand. I had to make arrangements for his admission to the hospital.

My husband underwent two surgeries: the first one, for cleaning the wound inside and the second, for the insertion of the metal implant to support the broken bones. During these operations, I did nothing but pray. When I’ve exhausted all my prayers, I started questioning things. I wanted to know why this happened. The question, "Why him, why him?" kept repeating in my head. I wanted to trade places with him, thinking it should have happened to me. I didn’t have work and had all the time to spare. He had to stop working for a while. Even when the time comes that he had to go back to work, I know that the pain will be excruciating. How will he run after the LRT and the bus? But I knew these were all wasted thoughts. There was a reason this happened. I always believed in the saying that God never gave trials we couldn’t overcome. I believe when a door is closed, a window will be opened. And a window opened for me. I was offered a temporary job at Scope. I took the job with no qualms and did my best even if the work was way below my skills. I guess my supervisor then liked what she saw and recommended me to RLS-Secured Lending, who took me in as a Business Analyst.

With this new job, we were able to cover our daily expenses while hospital bills were taken care of his insurance. He was on crutches for a couple of months and it was a real pain to see him struggling about. Gradually, he improved and soon he was able to walk on his own. In these trying months, we learned to depend on each other. We tried to make light of things and joked about his bionic leg. Our lives are getting back to normal now, except for the leg pains he feels once in a while. We are still waiting advice from the doctor on whether the metal will be removed from his leg. When I think about this, I feel heavy-hearted for I know my husband will go through the same pain again. But we have no choice. We will have to do whatever is best for him.

Now that this storm has passed, we realize how lucky we are to survive. Tragedies like these show how much backbone we have. Looking back, I would have thought all I can do is cry and spite that cruel fellow who hurt my husband. Honestly, I don’t hate him at all. It would have been easier to blame everything on him and wish him all the bad luck in this world but I wouldn’t want to waste even a minute of my day on such sordid thoughts. As my husband and I decided to let go, things became clearer to us. It was easier to move on and heal, both physically and emotionally. We became closer. Our marriage became stronger. We know we could overcome all the problems crossing our path. I know this is such a molehill compared to the mountainous problems being faced by others. For that, I am thankful.

And so, let me end with a poem I wrote during my darkest hours:

I thank God when darkness falls,
For I know, morning comes after.
I thank God when the rain pours,
For I know, a rainbow comes after.
I thank God when tragedy strikes,
For I know, blessings come after.
I thank God for every wound,
For I know, healing comes after.
I thank God when I feel pain,
For I know, joy comes after.
Lastly, I thank God for every trial,
For I know, I am so much stronger after.

Tonight I’ve completed the basic toastmasters competence programme.. Basically, it means that I’ve done ten speeches in front of the TM club members. I’m not sure if I am that competent already but I hope I’ve improved during the programme.

So I’d like to share with you all the ten speeches that I had…

Let’s start with Speech #1:

Who Am I?

I bet most of you thought I was Malay the first time you
saw me, right? I’m used to it by now
—cab drivers speaking to me non-stop in fluent Bahasa, a stranger asking,
“Pukul Berapa Sekarang?” or a saleslady
selling stuff to me using local language. But the moment I speak, they’re taken aback and realize that I am
definitely NOT Malay. My name, Eingeleen
or “EINGE” for short, also confuses a lot of people especially when
communicating via email. Many times I’ve
been asked, “Are you German or something?” When I want to be funny, I usually answer, “No, not German, but
definitely something… “ But I have never
regretted having such a unique name or looking Malay. All these are what make
me who I am.

So, who am I?

Well, for starters, I’m definitely
Filipino. Whoever has a Filipino friend
can agree with me when I say we’re such a fun bunch. Despite all the disasters
our country has faced— typhoons, storms, earthquakes, floods, volcanic
eruptions—name it, we’ve had it— we still remain as a happy and fun-loving
people. I suppose it’s how we cope with all these tragedies. Currently, my country is in a political
turmoil because of the president’s scandal where her conversation with an
election official was tapped and was broadcast on TV and radio. Do you know
what the Filipinos did with the recorded conversation? They made it into a
mobile phone ring tone! They took it
into the next level and even made it into car horns. But don’t get me wrong; we
Filipinos do know how to take things seriously. I was one of those who have marched down in the busy streets to oust the
former corrupt actor-president. I, as a Filipino, care about my country, but I
also know how to laugh at our misery. I
guess it’s because we’ve been through a lot already and if we dwell on it more,
we will just waste more energy on depression. When I fall—literally or figuratively—, I pick myself up, laugh at my
bumble and learn from it. When I’m bored
or put in a difficult situation, I try to see the light side of it and find fun
in it. Stick with me and you’ll never
have a boring day in your life.

My name Eingeleen literally
means, “Little Angel” but contrary to what my name suggests, I am definitely
one mean fighting machine. No, I don’t
like fights nor am I into Karate but I often find myself in the midst of
conflicts. I guess it’s because I can’t
bear to sit still and keep quiet when I know that injustice is being done to my
friends or my loved ones. Back in high
school, that’s form 5 here— I was the confrontation queen. All my friends
came to me to help me confront the “enemy” who bullied them one way or the
other. I used the strategy called,
“confuse and diffuse” – I confused them with words, which eventually diffused
their anger. I guess because of that I
had picked a few enemies here and there but hey, my friends would go with me to
the depths of hell if need be. As Aristotle said, the antidote for a thousand
enemies is just One Friend—and I’m sure I have less than a thousand enemies and
I have more than just one true friend.

But that was ten years ago. Now,
I focus all my fighting energy on my husband. Yes, I am married. Somebody was brave enough to tame the lion in
me, and he succeeded in trying to make a cute hello kitty out of me. I guess there’s no turning back when you’re
hit by Cupid’s arrow. Now, I am proud to say I am a loving wife. I cook, bake,
clean the house and do household chores. My husband helps me once in a while.
He calls me Super Wife for having the energy to do all these, coupled with the
heavy workload here in the office. But I
don’t think I’m alone. I’m just the same as all the working wives out there
trying their best to strike a balance between career and family.

So, who am I? By now, you’ve had
a glimpse of who I am. I hope you don’t
add up my words and think I’m a Fun-loving Super Mean Fighting Filipina
Wife. I guess words are not enough to
tell you exactly who I am. What I’m
trying to say is, the perfect way to know who I am is by being my friend. Hey,
I don’t bite… and if you have enemies out there, let me know, it’s been a long
time since I’ve used my Confuse and Diffuse Strategy.

Thank you and nice meeting you
all.

***********
Watch out for Speech # 2!